“The Beauty of Scars”
Galatians 6:17
17 Quite
frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more
important things to do—the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body
scars from my service to Jesus.
“Scars are the map of the journey of our
lives. They tell the starting line, the work God has done through our lives and
the victories in order to get to the final destination we are meant for.” - CAL
In July
of 2002 I had threw my back out. As a result I ended up getting a
microdiscetomy at L4/L5 on my spine where the surgeon cut out roughly 40% of
one of my discs. It was by far one of the most excruciating things I had gone
through physically. After the surgery most of the pain was gone and I was left
with just some weakness and a three inch scar on my lower back.
For
years my kids would talk about the scar I had on my back. In a strange way it
brought them a sense of comfort as it was an identifying mark for them to know
that I was their father. It was almost like a signature or birthmark.
What
happens though when those scars are hidden from the visual and are part of your
soul. All of us have these battle scars of the soul. Maybe they are just the
three inch scar of moving away from the place you grew up or having to sell a
favorite possession. To others though, it is a lacerating scar across your soul
reaching head to toe like a death or divorce.
Have
you ever wondered what the purpose of scars are for? They can look ugly, create
pain and send use into a spirit of insecurity and depression. Mandisa explains
the purpose of scars in her song “What Scars are for.”
They remind me of Your faithfulness
And all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness
Is something You can use
They show me where I've been
And that I'm not there anymore
That's what scars, that's what scars
You show me that's what scars are for.
As I
reflected on the journey I have gone through I found that it is important to
reflect on my scars, not to relive the past rather to appreciate where God has
brought me. Almost exactly one year ago to date (March 13, 2014) a judge with
malicious intent wrote an order to keep me from my kids, this after
interference with my visitation and relationship with them for almost six
years. I have to say not a day goes by remembering the injustice that
transpired, my children and the scar that had ripped my heart out tearing away
flesh and muscle and leaving a hole where joy has turned to distant memories
and future promises. There have been many times I have had to seek God’s hand
of intricate plastic surgery to cut away the overgrowth of the scar and soften
what once looked ugly.
Some
have asked what I would do differently and if I could change things. All I can
say is I am glad God brought me to where I am today. My kids are my life but
the relationship I have with God is my lifeline and without that my children
would not be who they are today or who God will make them tomorrow to carry on
the plans He has for them.
As we
near Easter though I could not help but continue to think about the scars and
pain that happened on my behalf. Two thousand years ago Jesus had gone to a
cross, bled for me, took nails in His hands and feet and had His side cut open.
He saw me where I am today and said “Yes I will take these scars because I know
the legacy he has to carry out the plans tomorrow that my Father has for him.”
Just as
a father who has struggled with the scars of the relationship with his kids
Christ took on those scars for me to have a relationship with the Father because
He understood the lifeline and the plans that where ahead. It can be so easy to forget the price paid
for where we are and where God is leading.
It is
always necessary though to reflect on the scars because of where we have come
from and where God is taking us. Today I wear those scars not as a reminder of
the pain rather as a reminder of the promise. It is through those scars that I
am free. It is through those scars I have victory. It is through those scars I
am made new.
CAL
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