"Celebration of Life"

Luke 2:10-14

"But the angel said to them, 'Don't be afraid! I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: Your will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'

Suddenly a great company of the Heavenly hosts appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth PEACE to those on whom His favor rests."

Matthew 21:7-9

"They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of Him and those that followed shouted, 'Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest Heaven!"

With Christmas just a couple days away I have been preparing myself for one of my favorite holidays. There are many fond memories and many not so good, but what's better than preparing for something that can bring you peace, joy and excitement all in one like Christ's coming. I know it may sound a little clique but have you ever thought about that first Christmas that has changed history, changed mankind, our calendar and changed how we think.

Yes I understand that not everyone believes in Christ as the only way to God, that He existed or that He is the Messiah, but imagine for just one second if an angel visited you. What would you do? Imagine if the sky broke into harmonious sounds and voices at the birth of a baby. Would you pass out or be terrified? I know I would. 

Even for those who don't believe, think about this, have you ever seen someone come into the world being celebrated with such great fan fair only to die with the same type of great fan fair. If someone is celebrated in death it is usually because people want them gone, but this was a man who was celebrated at His birth, near His death and after His resurrection.  There is certainly something about that I must say.

So as I was thinking about the celebrations of Jesus at His birth, death and resurrection I could only think about one thing; praise. If praise and worship entered in peace, joy, glory and the Messiah into the preamble of what was to come, imagine what would happened if we invited the Prince of Peace, the God of Glory, the Joy of Life and the Messiah into our day and into each situation with praise how different things would be. Would He be the Peace in your broken family? Would He be the joy where death was consuming every thought? Would He be the Glory that clothes you when you feel like a failure and not worthy? Would He be Messiah or Promise when all hope seems gone?

It is through praise that mountains in our lives are moved, hearts changed, peace comes and promises fulfilled.

As I have been enjoying some new Christmas music this year, a few new songs have charged me and excited me even more this year about the life and legacy of a baby who is God incarnate where all I can do is praise Him. One such song is from Danny Gokey called "Lift Up Your Eyes." It is one of those powerful songs that reminds me of the angels saying "Glory to God in the highest" as it reminds me of the exact same words "Hosanna in the Highest Heaven. Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord."

Have you taken the time in all of the busyness to praise God and see what is about to happen?

http://youtu.be/cxd-J28bBbM

CAL

"Three Wisemen & a Princess"

"Three Wisemen & a Princess"

The Holidays can be very hard for some, but for parents of Parental Alienation it is a mater of loneliness, depression and confusion. "What am I supposed to do? What do my kids expect? Do they think about me? How should I be feeling and dealing with the absence of my kids?" are just some of the questions you may ask. I know what that is like because it has been 6 years since I celebrated a Christmas with my kids and over 2 years since I have seen or talked to them. I miss them so deeply and words cannot explain.

Each year I send my kids things to remind them how much they mean to me and that they are precious in every way.

In Dedication to the A-Team (Courtney, Caleb, Noah & Jadon)-

For several weeks I have been racking my brain to figure out something special to do for you this Christmas, above and beyond to show you my love and adoration to you. A few weeks ago I thought about putting together a new story for you like old times, but the combination of things going on and finding an appropriate story line was baffling…. Until today!

I was given the opportunity to share something on the radio with you for Christmas, but thought what better than to present you with but a new story from “The Adventures of Cal-Boy Kitty and Noey Joey.”

Many may wonder what that is. Well when I went to put my kids to bed I would make up stories with them as the main characters that go through life adventures and conquer issues that may be challenging. Many times I would fall asleep while telling the story as they would be riveted enough to wonder what was next. With each story, every night, I would sign off with them saying, “I love you. Care for you. And pray for you.” But my daughter would have me give her an Eskimo Kiss after each line. As she would rub her nose next to mine she would start to giggle and at the end say “nothing” standing for nothing more and I trust your love.

So without further ado……

From “The Adventures of Cal-Boy Kitty & Noey Joey” Comes:

“The Three Wisemen and a Princess”-

It was a cold and wintery night. Cal-Boy KT and Noey Joey were sitting around the table drinking a peppermint hot chocolate and talking to their friends Doctor Dijaboo and Princess Nicky about something that they heard earlier that day. The whole town was abuzz about someone who was to have a baby that could heal the broken hearted, bring restoration and more importantly, purpose and meaning to life. They were puzzled though how a baby could do this. “Is this someone that when you touch them that you are healed from a sickness or is it someone with a word that can calm the storms of life?” Cal-Boy KT declared.

They were so confused, but as night fell they became very tired and fell asleep. Each one of them had a dream that was different than the next. So the following morning they discussed what they saw but puzzled by its meaning. Princess Nicky told the boys, “I had a dream last night about hearing music and seeing instruments playing the most beautiful melodies I have ever heard. I kept trying to tell other people and ask them if they heard the music as well, but they told me that there was no music and that maybe it was all in my head. I got so frustrated that I stopped telling others what I saw and heard.”

Next Dr. Dijaboo spoke up and said “I had a dream too that I cannot make sense of. I saw a present that was wrapped and had my name on it. When I looked closer I saw everything that people told me I could not do written on the outside. I hesitantly grabbed the box and opened it. When I did the whole inside was a mirror and written on the mirror were names like beautiful, strong, creative, important and special. I did not know what to think as the outside had negative things written on it but the inside had positive things.”

Being the competitive spirit Cal-Boy KT is and not wanting to be outdone said, “I had a dream as well. In my dream there was a war going on. I looked for a place to hide and tried to escape the gunfire. It was then that I heard a voice that told me ‘Get up and fight on as this is the most important fight of your life. It may be hard but in the end it is rewarding.’ Then I woke up.”

After the first three shared their dreams they each looked and Noey Joey and asked him if he had a dream. He said “Yes and I don’t want to talk about it.” After several minutes of coxing he shared his dream. He said “I really do not understand what I saw, but it was a lighthouse and a big storm was raging trying to blow out the light. It was my job to make sure the light never went out. Then after several hours of trying to protect the light from the storm a peace came over everything and the storm stopped.”

Puzzled by their dreams they decided to set out on a journey to find this baby that some called ‘Magical.’ After several days they became very tired and wondered if the journey was even worth it. It was in this little town, poor, without running water and very secluded they came upon a person talking about a baby who was born. With great excitement they ask this person where this baby was and they were led to this little house tucked away in the woods. It was very dark as the shadows from the trees blocked out the light of the moon. As they tapped on the door a young couple answered the door and to their surprise this little house was filled with light and joy so great it was like nothing they ever seen before. They opened up their bags to share that which they had with the new family. One pulled out a couple of gold coins, another pulled out some herbs used for healing, while another pulled out some fresh perfume. Dr. Dijaboo unlike the others had nothing to give but his last Swiss Miss Peppermint Hot Chocolate mix and left it with the family.  He was really embarrassed as he felt that it didn’t have as much value as the other gifts, but the couple was very appreciative with what the Three Wisemen and Princess Nicky shared with them. The group had said their goodbyes and could not get over how happy they were to have seen this little baby, the parents and share what they had.

Later that night they each had another dream, but this was a voice who told them what they had seen in their previous dream. To Princess Nick she heard a voice say “The music you heard is what I wrote on your heart. Do not hide it away because others cannot hear it on their own. I wrote it on your heart that you may teach others to hear the music I gave to them that they may experience My full joy.” As for Cal-Boy KT he too heard a voice telling him “I made you strong not to hide away but to defeat evil. The strength you need though can only come through Me. Do not be afraid for I am with you.”

Dr. Digaboo could not control what he dreamed about. He said “I had the same dream all over again but as I kept reading the words written on the mirror the words on the outside kept falling off until the outside was clean beautiful paper. I looked back at the mirror and saw myself and realized that ‘I’ am beautiful. ‘I’ am strong creative….” Then he broke down and started to cry as he quietly said “I am special.”

Before he know it Noey Joey put his arm around him and gave him a hug. He quietly shared with the others what he saw. He said “I am the lighthouse that God started the fire on. In the storms I my remember that others see me as a refuge and a place of peace and rescue. I must always seek God and trust that He will use me to shine His light.”

After Noey Joey was done speaking they realized that this baby on a cold winter night made all the difference to three wise men and a princess who were willing to seek out something special, give what they had and trust God with who He made them to be.

The moral of the story is…..we all have something to give. We all have a calling and we all can make a difference in the lives of others.

To the A-Team, thank you for being my inspiration, my kids and God’s blessing. Live out His fullness in your life and know I am grateful for you and very proud of you. “I love you, care for you and pray for you……Nothing.”

Love Dad

Land of the Free, Home of the Debased

July 4, 2015

Many may ask the question of 'Where did family values in our country go?'

In light of the of the Supreme Court Ruling on Gay Marriage many may be asking the question how did we get here? This is not about the issue of fire and brimstone on the gay lifestyle rather about the denigration of morality in our country.

The problem we have is the compromise of the morals we have established from generation to generation. The things we find acceptable today some may find extremely course 20 to 50 years ago.

To understand this a little more you must look at the history of our country, especially over the past 65 years.

Here are some things in media that have brought such controversy with the morals of our society.

• In the late 1950's and early 1960's anything to do with sex, any sexual terms or talking about pregnancy were topics not to be discussed publicly and certainly not in media of any sort. As a result the producers of the "I Love Lucy" show decided that they wanted to increase their ratings and found that the only way to do so was to push the edge of two topics......sharing the same bed and pregnancy. During that time period it was not acceptable to share the same bed with someone of the opposite sex unless it were for procreation, even for married couples. During the time period most couples would sleep in two separate twin sized beds. In the show the producer decided to take a norm and change things for what was to come with the pregnancy of Lucille Ball and Dessie Arnez and the expectation of their first child. The only way they could keep the show going without the lack of acceptance of the pregnancy of scorn to the character of Lucy and Dessie was to introduce the bedroom seen followed up with the episode called "Lucy goes to the Hospital." Both episodes started controversy and talk yet opened to door to a new social norm.
• In the early 60's a Methodist born man came to the scene which changed the way society would look on to sex forever. After finding out that his first wife cheated on him while he was in the military, Hugh Hefner found himself engaged with multiple partners at the request of his wife who hoped it would even the playing field for the guilt she had and reconcile their relationship. Instead of reconciling the relationship it dissolved the relationship creating the largest empire of magazines about sex. It had opened up a new door and new conversation spurring on the "sexual revolution." It was through the sexual revolution that the promotion of sex outside of marriage, public nudity, homosexuality and the integration of multiple partners started and was the beginning of the acceptance of a new era.
• As the demonization of smoking was in full force starting in the '80's, a new product was to take a new debut. In the early 80's the AIDS epidemic had started to come to light. Many in the medical field attributed AIDS & HIV to homosexuality, which later was learned as a result of a few issues. As a result 'safe sex' was being promoted, but during the Reagan and Bush eras the promotion of sexual contraceptives were banned from mainstream TV. In the early '90's William Jefferson Clinton became president of the United States. One of his promises was to promote 'safe sex.' It was not as a result of Mr. Clinton being president that contraceptives or ed medications were made, as they existed before his presidency, rather the public commercialization of contraceptives and ed medications. Throughout the years of Bill Clinton as president the promotion of the 'safe sex' campaign was carried out by both Mr. Clinton and his wife Hillary (barring his escapades with Jennifer Flowers and Monica Lewinski). Mrs. Clinton made appearances in China talking against population control and promoting contraceptives in lieu. 

Just this past June the in 2015 the US Supreme Court ruled in a decision of 6-3 about the Definition of Marriage whereto the majority stated that no state has the right to define that marriage is between one man and one woman rather the consent of one person to another regardless of sex. It is a ruling which requires all states to accept, regardless of the vote of the people or the laws of the state may dictate. It was a law that opens the door to several questions. The first being,due to the generalization of the ruling, what constitutes to consent of one person to another? Does that restrict age or multiple partners? Does the ruling give way to one person marrying another who has dementia or who has a medical issue where they can be taken advantage of for monetary gain.

The greatest concern about the ruling from the Supreme Court is less about homosexuality and more the issue of the voice of the people being lost. Greater still is the apathy of the elected politicians who have looked at a ruling from a court only to say "well we did all we can do and need to move on to the next item" ignoring the people they represent and have no moral compass in order to just throw in the towel.

Over the past 6, almost 7 decades, we have come a long way. We have given ground inch by inch that over a matter of time we have lost the very principles we once stood for. Over time we are just a hazy reflection of our past as the things that once made us blush or shamed for the purpose of getting us to do right has now become the status quo removing the urgency for a moral standard.

Many people love to bring up the story of Sodom and Gomorra yet many have no understanding why the two cities were truly destroyed. Many assume it was because of homosexuality using it as the opposition for the ruling by the Supreme Court. To understand the true meaning of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorra you must understand what was going on before it's destruction.

About 4000 years ago Lot, nephew of Abraham, ventured out to find a new place to live with his uncle. As a result of the live stock and families of both parties resources became scarce and they decided to split up. As a young man the appeal of a plush and thriving city became the choice of Lot. Now the family was a God fearing family but as a result of the provisions Lot took part in, Lot began to assimilate and found himself compromising his morals and beliefs. Some scholars believe that Lot was a politician in the city and instead of making a positive influence he turned a blind eye to those things which were immoral and unacceptable (Genesis 11-19). It is hard to say how long Lot resided there but it is known that before he left with Abraham to the time he left Sodom he had become married, had children and his children were married.

Just prior to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorra an angel of the Lord came to Abraham telling him that He was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorra, where Lot resided. Abraham pleaded with God that if he could find 50 godly men all of the way down to 1 godly man that God would save the city, God agreed yet none where found including Lot. It shows that if Lot had not compromised his morals, his influence could have saved others in the process. As a result of the lack of morals,which included homosexuality, and Lot's willingness to send his own daughters over to be used sexually God destroyed Sodom and Gomorra.

The question remains are we too like Lot where we have compromised our moral base giving up what we stand for only to find our country lacking each day at a greater basis our character and the very things we once stood for and were founded on? Are we the ones to turn a blind eye or use the excuse to give up the fight for what we believe in and the moral compass for future generations? Are we willing to give excuse or reason our morals away as result of someones claimed rights?

Remember we all have rights as we all have responsibilities.  With every right comes the sacrifice of someone else's liberty. With the sacrifice of someone's liberty comes the compromise of another's morals. With the compromise of someone's morals comes the denigration of the family. And with the denigration of the family comes the loss of tomorrow's generation.

CAL

“I’m Falling Apart…..Can Anyone Help?”

May 24, 2015

“I’m Falling Apart…..Can Anyone Help?”

Luke 17:11-13

^11-13 It happened that as he made his way toward Jerusalem, he crossed over the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered a village, ten men, all lepers, met him. They kept their distance but raised their voices, calling out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

Earlier this week I was listening to Greg Laurie. He was talking about leprosy (also known as Hanson’s disease).  As I was listening to the symptoms I could not help but see a parallel to Parental Alienation.

What is Leprosy?

Leprosy is a disease that attacks the central nervous system that creates numbness and deformities in parts of the body.

Symptoms:

• Loss of feeling
• Scars and bruises
• Fatigue
• Deformities
• Discoloring of skin and infection
• Deterioration
• Highly Contagious
• Can take a long time to show symptoms
• Loneliness
• Abandonment
• Outcast
• Destitute

As I looked at this list I could not help but think that the symptoms are very much the same in Parental Alienation. 

Here are some of the symptoms of PA:

• Loss of feeling
• Scars and bruises
• Deformities of character
• Infection of the soul
• Fatigue
• Deterioration of Hope
• Can take a long time to show symptoms because of the long court battles and confusion of what is going on.
• Loneliness
• Abandonment
• Outcast
• Destitute

Think about it, Parental Alienation is the leprosy of the soul. It takes everything from you on top of the relationship with your children; money, friends, trust, hope, a sense of being and your character. People don’t want to be around you. The courts mock you and rob you blind. And the worst is you feel all alone.

Just like those in third world countries and ancient times the pain of what they were dealing with because of leprosy was one thing, but the pain of rejection and ridicule was different and soul killing. Likewise those who have experienced the separation of a child by the hands of a disgruntled spouse or unforgiving court is much the same. You find yourself not being able to feel and like you have lost a limb. If the pain wasn’t bad enough you may find you can’t find one person who would be there to give you hope and comfort.

Just like the lepers you find yourself calling out saying “I’m falling apart, can someone help me?” Day in and day out you call out to no avail. Today seems like it is another day without hope and reeling in the paralyzing pain, but wait! Someone is coming! Could today be the day that someone would share just a kind word or give me some hope? Then there it is, that compassionate voice telling you that you are made whole and restored and show yourself to those who can testify to your change.

As the scripture continues it says the most outsider of the outsiders came back to give thanks to Christ. Christ took note of it and said you are restored by your faith and saved as a result.

We are looking for a shoulder to be there for use and most of the time we may get a glimpse at time to time, but very rarely could another person give us that hope or comfort as they too are broken.

In the song “Shoulders,” by For King and Country, they talk about how God carries us through those hard times. As they say in one of the lines that God has come to make things whole.

You mend what once was shattered
And You turn my tears to laughter
Your forgiveness is my fortress
Oh Your mercy is relentless

Imagine if through your calling of brokenness you find someone who has mercy and compassion for your situation, not to take it away but to see you through? Would it restore your hope? Would you celebrate where you came from and be forever grateful? Christ has come to your camp that others have forgotten, where the courts have condemned you and where all hope has seemed lost and has said “You are restored and made whole!”

Challenge: Never lose hope. Share with others those little victories to strengthen your faith and be whole.

CAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfiYWaeAcRw

The Beauty of Scars

March 7, 2015

“The Beauty of Scars”

Galatians 6:17

¹⁷ Quite frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do—the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.

“Scars are the map of the journey of our lives. They tell the starting line, the work God has done through our lives and the victories in order to get to the final destination we are meant for.” - CAL

In July of 2002 I had threw my back out. As a result I ended up getting a microdiscetomy at L4/L5 on my spine where the surgeon cut out roughly 40% of one of my discs. It was by far one of the most excruciating things I had gone through physically. After the surgery most of the pain was gone and I was left with just some weakness and a three inch scar on my lower back.

For years my kids would talk about the scar I had on my back. In a strange way it brought them a sense of comfort as it was an identifying mark for them to know that I was their father. It was almost like a signature or birthmark.

What happens though when those scars are hidden from the visual and are part of your soul. All of us have these battle scars of the soul. Maybe they are just the three inch scar of moving away from the place you grew up or having to sell a favorite possession. To others though, it is a lacerating scar across your soul reaching head to toe like a death or divorce.

Have you ever wondered what the purpose of scars are for? They can look ugly, create pain and send use into a spirit of insecurity and depression. Mandisa explains the purpose of scars in her song “What Scars are for.”

They remind me of Your faithfulness

And all You brought me through

They teach me that my brokenness

Is something You can use

They show me where I've been

And that I'm not there anymore

That's what scars, that's what scars

You show me that's what scars are for.

As I reflected on the journey I have gone through I found that it is important to reflect on my scars, not to relive the past rather to appreciate where God has brought me. Almost exactly one year ago to date (March 13, 2014) a judge with malicious intent wrote an order to keep me from my kids, this after interference with my visitation and relationship with them for almost six years. I have to say not a day goes by remembering the injustice that transpired, my children and the scar that had ripped my heart out tearing away flesh and muscle and leaving a hole where joy has turned to distant memories and future promises. There have been many times I have had to seek God’s hand of intricate plastic surgery to cut away the overgrowth of the scar and soften what once looked ugly.

Some have asked what I would do differently and if I could change things. All I can say is I am glad God brought me to where I am today. My kids are my life but the relationship I have with God is my lifeline and without that my children would not be who they are today or who God will make them tomorrow to carry on the plans He has for them.

As we near Easter though I could not help but continue to think about the scars and pain that happened on my behalf. Two thousand years ago Jesus had gone to a cross, bled for me, took nails in His hands and feet and had His side cut open. He saw me where I am today and said “Yes I will take these scars because I know the legacy he has to carry out the plans tomorrow that my Father has for him.”

Just as a father who has struggled with the scars of the relationship with his kids Christ took on those scars for me to have a relationship with the Father because He understood the lifeline and the plans that where ahead.  It can be so easy to forget the price paid for where we are and where God is leading.

It is always necessary though to reflect on the scars because of where we have come from and where God is taking us. Today I wear those scars not as a reminder of the pain rather as a reminder of the promise. It is through those scars that I am free. It is through those scars I have victory. It is through those scars I am made new.

CAL

Feeling the Love

"Feeling the Love"

John 15:13New King James Version (NKJV)
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

Yes it was just 15 years ago this evening I found myself in the hospital. No it wasn't because I was sick or had a problem. Instead it was because of something else. Something amazing which I only had experienced but one other time before. This was a little different than the previous time only because it was the birth of my son, Caleb. I was there for just the second time, at this point, to witness the birth of my first son after having a beautiful little girl.

Many thoughts flood over me when Valentines Day rolls around. The greatest would have to be the day when my oldest son was born. He is not much of a baby anymore towering at 5'-8" wearing a size 12 men's shoes. The hardest thing though is not seeing his smiling face or hearing his quirky goofiness as the miracle of life can be tainted by the tragedy of divorce.

I would do anything for my kids. I have held them when they were young. I have blessed them both in good times and bad. I have celebrated their life and not a day goes by where I don't think about them. I have even fought for their best interests and would even lay down my life for them.

Have you ever found yourself saying that you would die for someone? Maybe it is a spouse, a close friend, a child with a disability or simply your child who has experienced a traumatic thing. When things are good it is so easy to say that you would die for someone, but what happens when you have been beaten down or worse yet lay your life down for a loved one who has rejected you, denied you, and spit in your face? Can you love that person enough to be accused and blamed for something you didn't do and be punished as a result?

Is it really worth it?

There have been days I have asked that same question after going into court time and again, being beaten down, having everything taken away then taunted by the emotions and hateful accusations of the one one you have resolved to put your life down for. I have had to reflect back on things and my answer is always the same, without a shadow of doubt I would put my life on the line for my kids. They are worth everything I can give or do for them because they are the future of what God can do through them for His glory.

Last weekend my church celebrated their 5 year anniversary. So at bible study we talked about all the things God has done through our church and what things could happen in the next 5 years. We went further and started talking about leaving a legacy. As I sat and listened I thought about a particular person who ended up giving up their life for others and how she impacted so many people over the last several decades. Here is just a bit of her story.

On August 26, 1910 a baby girl was born in Skopje, which was part of Albania. Her parents gave her the name Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu. Now Agnes was fascinated with missions and missionaries from a young age. What she didn't know was how pivotal she would be to the lives of so many. In her early years she left home and devoted herself to the church. She became a nun and got to live her dream serving as a missionary in India. What she realized was the pull that she had was to save as many people as she could from poverty and death. She ended up living on the streets with those who where poor and risking her life and health for just another person.

As others saw what she was doing the joined her vision. Some brought aid others recognized her for her accomplishments and yet because of her resolve was nominated and won the Nobel Peace Prize.

What Mother Teresa found out was your life is worth laying down for another. She could have so easily said that the task was too hard or questioned if it were worth the cost. The reality is she showed love by laying down her life for others, sacrificing the desires we all have and valuing people as God's creation.

Likewise Christ did the same thing. He laid down His life for you. Just like the mean things said to me or about me from my kids and my resolve to love them unconditionally so did Christ while we were still sinners. We have said those words I hate you, rejected His good plan for use and have even thought we knew what was best for us, but He still loved us without condition and gave His life while we didn't really even know Him.

So when times are rough in your marriage, in the relationship with your kids, with a boss or coworker or the demanding of a parent, ask yourself "Are you feeling the love?" If you can answer no because someone has hurt you then ask yourself if you think the other person is feeling the love. Chances are that they don't either. Be that friend who will love God upwardly, love yourself inwardly and love others completely.

Our lives are a reflection of God's love in a much bigger picture.

CAL