Healing Tears

Healing Tears

Psalm 56:8

8 You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
    through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
    each ache written in your book.

Here we are at the end of one year and the cusp of yet another.

If you were to term 2014 in one word you may have the following description;

 - Sorrow
 - Painful
 - hopeless
 - devastating
 - exhausting

Others may say it was;

Joyful
Blessed
Exciting
Fulfilling

Though as I sat to think about the year I had a hard time coming up with the right word. As I pondered I thought the most appropriate word for me was tears. "TEARS" whatever does that mean you may think?

As I have reflected on the events of this past year they were huge in very difficult ways yet something happened.....tears. Tears of sorrow were replaced with the tears of joy. Tears pain where traded with tears of gratitude.

From January 1 up to even just a few days ago there were tears. Here is just a sample.

January 1st through May 12th I was unemployed and frustration and dejection set in with tears. Yet in such a crazy twist of God's blessing here it was I was offered the best job I have had in 5 years due to the stability and security of the company ending with tears of joy.
March 13th a judge takes away all of my communication and visitation with my children whom I had not seen or talked to 9 months prior due to the cruelty of the courts and my ex-wife's actions. As a result I lost such a large part of my heart. In turn God gave me a fantastic support group including my fiancé, an amazing church family and friends who are going through similar things as myself. Tears of gratitude.
June was probably the most difficult move I have ever made. Yet God had provided. Tears yet again but this time for mixed reasons.
June a lawsuit by the state of Florida for child support due to actions of my ex covered with tears of frustration which was exchanged with peace.
October 20th a lawsuit by the Illinois courts courtesy of the GAL. Tears of frustration as I had to file a second appeal. Yet again peace and provision.
December 25th not seeing my kids or hearing from them and having tears of longing only to be reminded of the promise of their future resolving in tears of joy.

I think one of the toughest was finding the picture of my kids just a few days ago shared with others but myself, their dad, resulting in painful tears. As I thought about the picture though God has given me the reminder of His promise for my kids in leu of the pain of rejection.

As I have been preparing for this journal a lot has been going through my mind.

I was taken back to five years ago when this journey started. I remember the pray I cried out for days. It wasn't God I can't do this. No, it was "God I am so broken and I don't know how You can put me back together." It was there that I heard His voice say, "I took you beyond the process of being broken to where your heart has been crushed to powder. Being broken you can be made different or put back together with those hairline cracks. It is when you have been made into that powder I can add My living water to your brokenness and make you something new."

At the beginning of the year a song came out from a group called the Afters. The song is called Broken Hallelujah. In the song the writer surrenders his brokenness to God realizing that we cannot make it on our own and we must carry on but with our Creator's help. One line that strikes me hard. It says "When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed. Let me always sing hallelujah. And when I feel afraid don't let my hope be erased."

So if I were to really term 2014 it would have to be a year of HOPE. God gave me 2014 to realize that yesterday's pain is tomorrow's hope. A hope that soon I will see my kids again. A hope that this chaos will soon come to an end. A hope that the appellate court will do the right thing. A hope for a brighter tomorrow.

So as we enter into 2015 May this be your year of Hope and Fulfilled Promises.

CAL

A Light for the Christmas Tree

December 25, 2014

John 8:12

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Christmas is filled with many lost traditions. As I sat in church the other day I was listening to my pastor talk about the significance of just some of the things the happened  at the advent of Christ. 

One of the things he had talked about was the significance of the shepherds. According to history the shepherds that were visited by the Heavenly Host were a special group of people unlike the standard farmer or cattle raiser. These groups of men would raise the sacrificial lambs for the atonement of sins and for the Passover feast. In doing so the would wrap the lambs in strips of cloth to ward off from any defects and impurities or even broken bones.

The parallel was far more than just coincidence. God chose the shepherds because they knew and understood the significance of the Messiah. He chose them simply because of the job they were called to do and the way they were to do so.

So I thought, 'What other traditions have been lost over time?' Do we understand why we put up a Christmas Tree or why it is ordained with lights? Do we understand the significance of giving gifts, what the Yule Log is or why fruit cake.

The focus I wanted to look at is the significance of the tree and the lights. As I was thinking about this I came back to Christmas 16 years ago. This was probably one of the most epic Christmases I will cherish. Just a few months earlier I had become a father to a baby girl. One night after dinner I turned out all of the lights, turned on the tree and laid there as my daughter was mesmerized by the twinkling lights. As a result Courtney fell asleep. As a father I watched as my little girl laid peacefully under the tree and thinking about a baby who laid under a twinkling sky bringing peace.

After a little research I needed to find out is there more to the tradition of the tree and lights? Why a pine tree? What about the lights?

Most of it was a German tradition which developed throughout the years of the Christian faith and family traditions. It is like what I heard one family doing as a tradition for their family based on the gifts of gold, myrrh and frankencense (gold-very valuable gift, myrrh-a gift for the soul, frankencense-a gift of clothing). In the 7th century a missionary had it on his heart to bring Christianity to the people of what we call Germany today. During the time the people had worship this towering oak tree which was considered sacred. The people were so moved that the tree was chopped down. In the following spring a Douglas fir grew up in the spot of the destroyed tree.

It wasn't until the 17th century that Christmas trees where brought into the home at Christmas and was reserved for the aristocratic families. As the trees were brought into the home they were ordained with candles that could not be lite form more than 30 minutes at a time and required someone with a bucket of water to remain as a spotter to assure the tree would not catch fire. The lights were added to remind those at the lighting of the tree of the light of the world as Christ coming to a dark world. Over time the lights have developed in style, color and use for Christmas.

As I have been taking this in about our crazy traditions I had to ask, 'have we lost the meaning of Christmas and even where our traditions have come from?' The truth is there is something more epic than watching the twinkle of the lights on a tree or loading up on gifts for the holidays. No it is more important than the shepherds, the carols or even the time with friends and family.

It is what happened over two thousand years ago.

It is the light that hung from a tree. 

It is that light in a cold dark world. 

It is the blood spilled at Calvary.

It is that price that was paid for me.

It is a Savior who became man.

It is the great I AM!

So as you celebrate Christmas today remember Christ didn't come to be that lonely light. No far more, He came to be an example for us in a dark world so that we too can be a light bringing peace and hope where all hope is lost and where chaos has run free.

Merry Christmas and may God's light shine in you today!

If you would like to know more about that hope that can change your life, feel free to contact me at the email below. It could save your life. forgedtogether27@gmail.com