Healing Tears
Psalm 56:8
8 You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book.
Here we are at the end of one year and the cusp of yet another.
If you were to term 2014 in one word you may have the following description;
- Sorrow
- Painful
- hopeless
- devastating
- exhausting
Others may say it was;
Joyful
Blessed
Exciting
Fulfilling
Though as I sat to think about the year I had a hard time coming up with the right word. As I pondered I thought the most appropriate word for me was tears. "TEARS" whatever does that mean you may think?
As I have reflected on the events of this past year they were huge in very difficult ways yet something happened.....tears. Tears of sorrow were replaced with the tears of joy. Tears pain where traded with tears of gratitude.
From January 1 up to even just a few days ago there were tears. Here is just a sample.
January 1st through May 12th I was unemployed and frustration and dejection set in with tears. Yet in such a crazy twist of God's blessing here it was I was offered the best job I have had in 5 years due to the stability and security of the company ending with tears of joy.
March 13th a judge takes away all of my communication and visitation with my children whom I had not seen or talked to 9 months prior due to the cruelty of the courts and my ex-wife's actions. As a result I lost such a large part of my heart. In turn God gave me a fantastic support group including my fiancé, an amazing church family and friends who are going through similar things as myself. Tears of gratitude.
June was probably the most difficult move I have ever made. Yet God had provided. Tears yet again but this time for mixed reasons.
June a lawsuit by the state of Florida for child support due to actions of my ex covered with tears of frustration which was exchanged with peace.
October 20th a lawsuit by the Illinois courts courtesy of the GAL. Tears of frustration as I had to file a second appeal. Yet again peace and provision.
December 25th not seeing my kids or hearing from them and having tears of longing only to be reminded of the promise of their future resolving in tears of joy.
I think one of the toughest was finding the picture of my kids just a few days ago shared with others but myself, their dad, resulting in painful tears. As I thought about the picture though God has given me the reminder of His promise for my kids in leu of the pain of rejection.
As I have been preparing for this journal a lot has been going through my mind.
I was taken back to five years ago when this journey started. I remember the pray I cried out for days. It wasn't God I can't do this. No, it was "God I am so broken and I don't know how You can put me back together." It was there that I heard His voice say, "I took you beyond the process of being broken to where your heart has been crushed to powder. Being broken you can be made different or put back together with those hairline cracks. It is when you have been made into that powder I can add My living water to your brokenness and make you something new."
At the beginning of the year a song came out from a group called the Afters. The song is called Broken Hallelujah. In the song the writer surrenders his brokenness to God realizing that we cannot make it on our own and we must carry on but with our Creator's help. One line that strikes me hard. It says "When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed. Let me always sing hallelujah. And when I feel afraid don't let my hope be erased."
So if I were to really term 2014 it would have to be a year of HOPE. God gave me 2014 to realize that yesterday's pain is tomorrow's hope. A hope that soon I will see my kids again. A hope that this chaos will soon come to an end. A hope that the appellate court will do the right thing. A hope for a brighter tomorrow.
So as we enter into 2015 May this be your year of Hope and Fulfilled Promises.
CAL
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Thursday, December 25, 2014
A Light for the Christmas Tree
December 25, 2014
John 8:12
"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
Christmas is filled with many lost traditions. As I sat in church the other day I was listening to my pastor talk about the significance of just some of the things the happened at the advent of Christ.
One of the things he had talked about was the significance of the shepherds. According to history the shepherds that were visited by the Heavenly Host were a special group of people unlike the standard farmer or cattle raiser. These groups of men would raise the sacrificial lambs for the atonement of sins and for the Passover feast. In doing so the would wrap the lambs in strips of cloth to ward off from any defects and impurities or even broken bones.
The parallel was far more than just coincidence. God chose the shepherds because they knew and understood the significance of the Messiah. He chose them simply because of the job they were called to do and the way they were to do so.
So I thought, 'What other traditions have been lost over time?' Do we understand why we put up a Christmas Tree or why it is ordained with lights? Do we understand the significance of giving gifts, what the Yule Log is or why fruit cake.
The focus I wanted to look at is the significance of the tree and the lights. As I was thinking about this I came back to Christmas 16 years ago. This was probably one of the most epic Christmases I will cherish. Just a few months earlier I had become a father to a baby girl. One night after dinner I turned out all of the lights, turned on the tree and laid there as my daughter was mesmerized by the twinkling lights. As a result Courtney fell asleep. As a father I watched as my little girl laid peacefully under the tree and thinking about a baby who laid under a twinkling sky bringing peace.
After a little research I needed to find out is there more to the tradition of the tree and lights? Why a pine tree? What about the lights?
Most of it was a German tradition which developed throughout the years of the Christian faith and family traditions. It is like what I heard one family doing as a tradition for their family based on the gifts of gold, myrrh and frankencense (gold-very valuable gift, myrrh-a gift for the soul, frankencense-a gift of clothing). In the 7th century a missionary had it on his heart to bring Christianity to the people of what we call Germany today. During the time the people had worship this towering oak tree which was considered sacred. The people were so moved that the tree was chopped down. In the following spring a Douglas fir grew up in the spot of the destroyed tree.
It wasn't until the 17th century that Christmas trees where brought into the home at Christmas and was reserved for the aristocratic families. As the trees were brought into the home they were ordained with candles that could not be lite form more than 30 minutes at a time and required someone with a bucket of water to remain as a spotter to assure the tree would not catch fire. The lights were added to remind those at the lighting of the tree of the light of the world as Christ coming to a dark world. Over time the lights have developed in style, color and use for Christmas.
As I have been taking this in about our crazy traditions I had to ask, 'have we lost the meaning of Christmas and even where our traditions have come from?' The truth is there is something more epic than watching the twinkle of the lights on a tree or loading up on gifts for the holidays. No it is more important than the shepherds, the carols or even the time with friends and family.
It is what happened over two thousand years ago.
It is the light that hung from a tree.
It is that light in a cold dark world.
It is the blood spilled at Calvary.
It is that price that was paid for me.
It is a Savior who became man.
It is the great I AM!
So as you celebrate Christmas today remember Christ didn't come to be that lonely light. No far more, He came to be an example for us in a dark world so that we too can be a light bringing peace and hope where all hope is lost and where chaos has run free.
Merry Christmas and may God's light shine in you today!
If you would like to know more about that hope that can change your life, feel free to contact me at the email below. It could save your life. forgedtogether27@gmail.com
Saturday, October 4, 2014
"I Didn't Sign Up for This"
Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
"I didn't sign up for this..." These are the famous words that my thirteen year old son stated to me in May 2013 as he was talking about the effect that the divorce between his mother and I had on him just two years prior. He continued by saying, "Dad all I wanted was a normal life." It is the words that cuts deep to a parent.
His comment has never left me as I have said much the same over the past 5 plus years as one crazy thing has followed yet another. If you were to follow the journey it was a trip which started in Chicago wondering and asking "God am I where You want me to be?" What I didn't know in the fall of 2003 that it would not lead to where I am today. If I knew where it would have brought me today there is no way I would have signed up for the journey.
In 2003 I felt God moving. I said to Him I will go anywhere as long as it was not Florida or California. God has an odd sense of humor because the place I committed not to go I ended up in; just outside of Orlando, Florida, but that was just the start of the ride I so quickly wanted to exit from.
In the summer of 2004 I moved to central Florida and that is where the ride of my life started (so I thought). My moved happened just 3 short weeks before the first of 3 hurricanes hit central Florida. It is very rare for a hurricane to hit central Florida and unheard of that 3 would hit consecutive in the same season as the last hurricane to hit the Orlando area hadn't happened in over 50 years. My mother-in-law at the time claimed it was God punishing us for moving to Florida as she didn't want us to go.
In 2006 I lost the job that brought me to Florida and consequently started my own business. Things went well for my business as I hired help, got an office and settled in for the long haul. I thought, wrongly, that maybe the economy would slow at worst and didn't expect it to ever fall off a cliff. Who would ever think that something like that could happen as it hadn't happened since the 1920's and our economy is far more stable than that.
By the end 2007 I was forced to close my business. In just 3 months I had more than $50,000 of cancelled contracts and just as much in clients who couldn't or didn't pay, which only compound for even more financial loss over the following 3 years. I was finding myself working 14-16 hours a day for free most of the time. As a result if found myself in bankruptcy by 2008.
If the previous 4 years weren't bad enough the following 6 years only showed me that life can get even worse. Within 18 months of the bankruptcy my house was lost as a result of hurricane storm damage, my wife falsely accused me of domestic violence, filed divorce (after I found her cheating on me), took my 4 kids from me, became unemployed, homeless and spending my days at Starbucks for almost 9 months as I had no other place to go.
To compound matters my former wife refused to allow me to spend time with our kids. She went on a binge of telling the kids lies with hopes of keeping them from me. When it wasn't enough to threaten and scare the kids she stepped things up. As a result she has dragged me into court more than 100 times before more than 4 judges in two different states and two separate child support offices over 5 years in a crazy ongoing case that seems to never stop.
As I was walking the dog this morning I had given more thoughts to this post. If I didn't sign up for this journey, what journey would I have signed up for? Would I have signed up for nothing because the results, different as they may, could have their own negative outcome or would I have traded my experiences for maybe less drama and twists and turns and not become the person it has hence made me?
I don't think the comment of not signing up for the journey we are going through is truly the question. Looking at it in a little more of a broader scope I think it boils down to what is our desire? The desire is not necessarily peace or lack of journey rather the sense of security and stability. It is that knowing that just because the world is out of control doesn't mean that that is my address, where I live is the place of chronic noise and flashing lights.
As I face finding another place to move next year I reflected where all I have lived in the last 10 years and 20 years. When I was asked the question this week "if you could change anything moving forward what would it be" I couldn't answer that right away.
Yet as I was walking this morning the answer came to me. In the past 6 years I have lived at 11 different addresses. Over the past 20 years I have moved more than 17 years. I am tired of moving. I am tired of not having that place of refuge where I can reside in the safety of rest without chaos. I desire a place I can escape where the journey has eroded who I am and keeps from the best of what God desires of me.
It is not about the journey son as much as it is finding the rest to complete the journey. We all have a journey, but do we have a place to go to catch our breath?
"I didn't sign up for this..." These are the famous words that my thirteen year old son stated to me in May 2013 as he was talking about the effect that the divorce between his mother and I had on him just two years prior. He continued by saying, "Dad all I wanted was a normal life." It is the words that cuts deep to a parent.
His comment has never left me as I have said much the same over the past 5 plus years as one crazy thing has followed yet another. If you were to follow the journey it was a trip which started in Chicago wondering and asking "God am I where You want me to be?" What I didn't know in the fall of 2003 that it would not lead to where I am today. If I knew where it would have brought me today there is no way I would have signed up for the journey.
In 2003 I felt God moving. I said to Him I will go anywhere as long as it was not Florida or California. God has an odd sense of humor because the place I committed not to go I ended up in; just outside of Orlando, Florida, but that was just the start of the ride I so quickly wanted to exit from.
In the summer of 2004 I moved to central Florida and that is where the ride of my life started (so I thought). My moved happened just 3 short weeks before the first of 3 hurricanes hit central Florida. It is very rare for a hurricane to hit central Florida and unheard of that 3 would hit consecutive in the same season as the last hurricane to hit the Orlando area hadn't happened in over 50 years. My mother-in-law at the time claimed it was God punishing us for moving to Florida as she didn't want us to go.
In 2006 I lost the job that brought me to Florida and consequently started my own business. Things went well for my business as I hired help, got an office and settled in for the long haul. I thought, wrongly, that maybe the economy would slow at worst and didn't expect it to ever fall off a cliff. Who would ever think that something like that could happen as it hadn't happened since the 1920's and our economy is far more stable than that.
By the end 2007 I was forced to close my business. In just 3 months I had more than $50,000 of cancelled contracts and just as much in clients who couldn't or didn't pay, which only compound for even more financial loss over the following 3 years. I was finding myself working 14-16 hours a day for free most of the time. As a result if found myself in bankruptcy by 2008.
If the previous 4 years weren't bad enough the following 6 years only showed me that life can get even worse. Within 18 months of the bankruptcy my house was lost as a result of hurricane storm damage, my wife falsely accused me of domestic violence, filed divorce (after I found her cheating on me), took my 4 kids from me, became unemployed, homeless and spending my days at Starbucks for almost 9 months as I had no other place to go.
To compound matters my former wife refused to allow me to spend time with our kids. She went on a binge of telling the kids lies with hopes of keeping them from me. When it wasn't enough to threaten and scare the kids she stepped things up. As a result she has dragged me into court more than 100 times before more than 4 judges in two different states and two separate child support offices over 5 years in a crazy ongoing case that seems to never stop.
As I was walking the dog this morning I had given more thoughts to this post. If I didn't sign up for this journey, what journey would I have signed up for? Would I have signed up for nothing because the results, different as they may, could have their own negative outcome or would I have traded my experiences for maybe less drama and twists and turns and not become the person it has hence made me?
I don't think the comment of not signing up for the journey we are going through is truly the question. Looking at it in a little more of a broader scope I think it boils down to what is our desire? The desire is not necessarily peace or lack of journey rather the sense of security and stability. It is that knowing that just because the world is out of control doesn't mean that that is my address, where I live is the place of chronic noise and flashing lights.
As I face finding another place to move next year I reflected where all I have lived in the last 10 years and 20 years. When I was asked the question this week "if you could change anything moving forward what would it be" I couldn't answer that right away.
Yet as I was walking this morning the answer came to me. In the past 6 years I have lived at 11 different addresses. Over the past 20 years I have moved more than 17 years. I am tired of moving. I am tired of not having that place of refuge where I can reside in the safety of rest without chaos. I desire a place I can escape where the journey has eroded who I am and keeps from the best of what God desires of me.
It is not about the journey son as much as it is finding the rest to complete the journey. We all have a journey, but do we have a place to go to catch our breath?
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Chasing After the Rainbow
July 27, 2014
“Chasing
After the End of the Rainbow”
Genesis 9:12-17
God continued, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I’m putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth.”
Rainbows are one of the most beautiful things of nature.
In the 17th century Irish folklore told the story that if you can find your way to the end of the rainbow you can find a pot of gold. The story went on further to say that you need to be careful as there is a leprechaun who guards the pot of gold who can take the gold if you don't catch him.
Have you gone through life looking for that pot of gold? Maybe you have said if I can get to the end of the rainbow and bi-pass the problem I am in life would be so much better only to see the end eludes us or worse off the rainbow disappears and the storm rolls back in for round two?
I too have wondered if I can get to the end of the rainbow. I mean after all things can be pretty rough, maybe just a little more money can resolve the problem or keeping the rainbow will allow the storms to disappear.
In Genesis 9, God makes a promise. The promise was a reminder through a rainbow. The promise was not for prosperity or success. It was not even for the storms never to come. The promise was so we understood that we would be faced with the storms, but not be destroyed as a result. It was a promise that He is by our side through the storm.
Too often we look for the hope in the storm but forget to look up at the rainbow and remember that God has our backs.
Five years ago I went through the darkest time of my life. Just before this journey, I told God I would serve Him regardless the journey or trial. I never expected what was before would either be the most unimaginable thing I could possibly experience or even drag on as long as it has. In fact I thought the storm would not only crush me but kill me. In some ways it did, it killed the man I used to be and made room for new life.
Not everyone goes through the journey of loosing everything all at once with the fond memory of it reminding you of the lose. Even those have experienced the similar survive through the process. I lost my job, marriage, family, hopes, dreams; everything. I was looking for the end of the rainbow and it only eluded me the greater I searched.
This morning as I headed into church I didn't know what service was going to be about as we have been having guest pastors come as the lead pastor is on vacation. The man who came was talking about the transformation God did in his life. One comment he made as he prayed was....God let us keep our eyes on You as we walk through the storms. May we be able to walk on the flood waters as the storms come as we fix our eyes on You.
Fixing our eyes on Him allows us to walk on the flood waters when the storms come. How profound!
That is the promise! The hope we have been given is fixed in his promise. Because we are people who by nature, are afraid to move forward without promise and security that all would be okay we are not included to move forward. God knew that. That is why He gave the rainbow; to remind us to keep moving forward.
It is God's desire to progress forward. It is not His desire to just find the end of the rainbow and enjoy the splendor.
Paul wrote to the church of Philippi about running the race. In chapter 3 he writes that we need to understand there are hard times and we need to keep on course pressing forward. He continues on and says that the direction we are going May seem like we have clouded vision, but hang in there as God will bring you clarity in due time.
It is so easy to give up the race. We find ourselves tired, distracted, in pain or even board. I get it. Those who have accomplished greatness ahead of us (Jefferson, Edison, Einstein, Washington, Lincoln, MKL, FDR) succeeded because they never relented on the vision, cause and the hope for a better future with a greater purpose and some of them it even cost their lives.
Remember next time when all hope seems lost, the flood waters come rushing in that you need to keep pressing on because your purpose is greater than you can imagine. The next time you see a rainbow remember God is saying, "I've got your back!" What better promise can you have than that?
CAL
God continued, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone living after you. I’m putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll remember my covenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I’ll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth.”
Rainbows are one of the most beautiful things of nature.
In the 17th century Irish folklore told the story that if you can find your way to the end of the rainbow you can find a pot of gold. The story went on further to say that you need to be careful as there is a leprechaun who guards the pot of gold who can take the gold if you don't catch him.
Have you gone through life looking for that pot of gold? Maybe you have said if I can get to the end of the rainbow and bi-pass the problem I am in life would be so much better only to see the end eludes us or worse off the rainbow disappears and the storm rolls back in for round two?
I too have wondered if I can get to the end of the rainbow. I mean after all things can be pretty rough, maybe just a little more money can resolve the problem or keeping the rainbow will allow the storms to disappear.
In Genesis 9, God makes a promise. The promise was a reminder through a rainbow. The promise was not for prosperity or success. It was not even for the storms never to come. The promise was so we understood that we would be faced with the storms, but not be destroyed as a result. It was a promise that He is by our side through the storm.
Too often we look for the hope in the storm but forget to look up at the rainbow and remember that God has our backs.
Five years ago I went through the darkest time of my life. Just before this journey, I told God I would serve Him regardless the journey or trial. I never expected what was before would either be the most unimaginable thing I could possibly experience or even drag on as long as it has. In fact I thought the storm would not only crush me but kill me. In some ways it did, it killed the man I used to be and made room for new life.
Not everyone goes through the journey of loosing everything all at once with the fond memory of it reminding you of the lose. Even those have experienced the similar survive through the process. I lost my job, marriage, family, hopes, dreams; everything. I was looking for the end of the rainbow and it only eluded me the greater I searched.
This morning as I headed into church I didn't know what service was going to be about as we have been having guest pastors come as the lead pastor is on vacation. The man who came was talking about the transformation God did in his life. One comment he made as he prayed was....God let us keep our eyes on You as we walk through the storms. May we be able to walk on the flood waters as the storms come as we fix our eyes on You.
Fixing our eyes on Him allows us to walk on the flood waters when the storms come. How profound!
That is the promise! The hope we have been given is fixed in his promise. Because we are people who by nature, are afraid to move forward without promise and security that all would be okay we are not included to move forward. God knew that. That is why He gave the rainbow; to remind us to keep moving forward.
It is God's desire to progress forward. It is not His desire to just find the end of the rainbow and enjoy the splendor.
Paul wrote to the church of Philippi about running the race. In chapter 3 he writes that we need to understand there are hard times and we need to keep on course pressing forward. He continues on and says that the direction we are going May seem like we have clouded vision, but hang in there as God will bring you clarity in due time.
It is so easy to give up the race. We find ourselves tired, distracted, in pain or even board. I get it. Those who have accomplished greatness ahead of us (Jefferson, Edison, Einstein, Washington, Lincoln, MKL, FDR) succeeded because they never relented on the vision, cause and the hope for a better future with a greater purpose and some of them it even cost their lives.
Remember next time when all hope seems lost, the flood waters come rushing in that you need to keep pressing on because your purpose is greater than you can imagine. The next time you see a rainbow remember God is saying, "I've got your back!" What better promise can you have than that?
CAL
Monday, April 7, 2014
Praying for Our Leaders
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
As a devotion and time in the Word of God so important in our lives, so are our fervent prayers.
Waking up this morning, my heart was entrapped yet again by the questions of God’s plans, His direction and how He is moving. As I opened up the Bible on my smart phone I was welcomed to the account of Saul and his first encounter with Samuel. The story, which can be found in 1 Samuel 7-9, opens up with Israel wanting to be just like the surrounding countries and not being satisfied with the leadership set up God had instituted which was having district judges who would keep the communities accountable to the righteousness of God. The people thought this assimilation would give them an advantage over the Philistines and ward them off from battle.
Samuel was so frustrated thinking that this was a rejection of himself and God and his position which was given to him. God had to remind him that this was not about Samuel but about an attack on God and His people. He told Samuel that if this is what the people want then they need to understand that there are consequences to their actions.
As Samuel was to go up and give sacrifice God reveals to him that a man was to come to him and it was this man who he was to anoint as king over Israel. So as Saul was looking for some donkeys of his father he comes in path of Samuel to as if he could talk to God and help him find the donkeys. Samuel anoints Saul as king yet Saul, even though he was tall and handsome and looked to have everything together, he tells Samuel that he is from the smallest tribe and does not have much to offer.
The sad thing is Saul does not finish strong even though he started in humbled beginnings. As a result of greed, disobedience and trying to force God into his plans, he lost God’s blessings both for himself and future generations within his own line and heritage.
As I sat to reflect on the leadership roles that we have, I have found yet another leader has fallen this weekend. In just the past four years I have seen many pastors and leaders being adversely effected being on the front line. Some of these pastors I have known well while others I have known of and enjoyed their teachings as they have been strongly blessed by God and have come from humble beginnings all of their own. Some have been leaders of a few while others have been leaders of thousands. Some have been caught in infidelity while others have been adversely affected by tragedies such as deaths in their families.
My heart sinks as yet another pastor and leader falls and steps down from the post of leadership. So the questions start to flow as this happens just before a large movement and gathering for God is about to happen. What is God doing? What do you do now? But the real question is “Am I praying for God’s movement and His leadership?” Am I willing to sit back in silence and prayer asking for God to move in ways we cannot even imagine?
So often we ask God to give us a leader. So often though when we get what we have asked for we forget to go to the next step. We put all of our trust in the humanity of the one at the post, but forget to pray for the one who has the bull’s eye on themselves and their families. We forget if we struggle in our marriage, our family and our health that our leaders, pastors and volunteers are twice as susceptible to these turmoils. The enemy looks to take out the family whether it is our physical family or our spiritual family. If he takes out the leader he can scatter the flock. It is military strategy that has been practiced for centuries. If you undermine the father or mother or pastor you take down the family and those under that authority.
So what do you do about it? According to James there are two steps. The first is at all ties we must make ourselves accountable to others so we may be able to confess our sins, great or small to another who can see God’s growth and refinement in our lives. Second we must always be praying for our leaders.
So how hard are you praying? Do you pray for your pastors, the leaders of your community, the teachers who are interfacing with your children on a daily basis anf those parents who you just saw dedicating their child last Sunday (which you made an oath to hold the parents up in prayer and keep them accountable for the growth of their child). Yes we may have much going on in our lives, but without the fervent prayers and accountability we cannot finish strong.
As James says, we are only human but if we are in prayer we through God are a force to be reckoned with. Keep in mind he didn’t just stop there. He states that being in prayer and accountable we are to spur on each other and not write of those who have fallen or are struggling in the faith.
Who knows, you may just be one of the ones who is in need of being rescued.
CAL
As a devotion and time in the Word of God so important in our lives, so are our fervent prayers.
Waking up this morning, my heart was entrapped yet again by the questions of God’s plans, His direction and how He is moving. As I opened up the Bible on my smart phone I was welcomed to the account of Saul and his first encounter with Samuel. The story, which can be found in 1 Samuel 7-9, opens up with Israel wanting to be just like the surrounding countries and not being satisfied with the leadership set up God had instituted which was having district judges who would keep the communities accountable to the righteousness of God. The people thought this assimilation would give them an advantage over the Philistines and ward them off from battle.
Samuel was so frustrated thinking that this was a rejection of himself and God and his position which was given to him. God had to remind him that this was not about Samuel but about an attack on God and His people. He told Samuel that if this is what the people want then they need to understand that there are consequences to their actions.
As Samuel was to go up and give sacrifice God reveals to him that a man was to come to him and it was this man who he was to anoint as king over Israel. So as Saul was looking for some donkeys of his father he comes in path of Samuel to as if he could talk to God and help him find the donkeys. Samuel anoints Saul as king yet Saul, even though he was tall and handsome and looked to have everything together, he tells Samuel that he is from the smallest tribe and does not have much to offer.
The sad thing is Saul does not finish strong even though he started in humbled beginnings. As a result of greed, disobedience and trying to force God into his plans, he lost God’s blessings both for himself and future generations within his own line and heritage.
As I sat to reflect on the leadership roles that we have, I have found yet another leader has fallen this weekend. In just the past four years I have seen many pastors and leaders being adversely effected being on the front line. Some of these pastors I have known well while others I have known of and enjoyed their teachings as they have been strongly blessed by God and have come from humble beginnings all of their own. Some have been leaders of a few while others have been leaders of thousands. Some have been caught in infidelity while others have been adversely affected by tragedies such as deaths in their families.
My heart sinks as yet another pastor and leader falls and steps down from the post of leadership. So the questions start to flow as this happens just before a large movement and gathering for God is about to happen. What is God doing? What do you do now? But the real question is “Am I praying for God’s movement and His leadership?” Am I willing to sit back in silence and prayer asking for God to move in ways we cannot even imagine?
So often we ask God to give us a leader. So often though when we get what we have asked for we forget to go to the next step. We put all of our trust in the humanity of the one at the post, but forget to pray for the one who has the bull’s eye on themselves and their families. We forget if we struggle in our marriage, our family and our health that our leaders, pastors and volunteers are twice as susceptible to these turmoils. The enemy looks to take out the family whether it is our physical family or our spiritual family. If he takes out the leader he can scatter the flock. It is military strategy that has been practiced for centuries. If you undermine the father or mother or pastor you take down the family and those under that authority.
So what do you do about it? According to James there are two steps. The first is at all ties we must make ourselves accountable to others so we may be able to confess our sins, great or small to another who can see God’s growth and refinement in our lives. Second we must always be praying for our leaders.
So how hard are you praying? Do you pray for your pastors, the leaders of your community, the teachers who are interfacing with your children on a daily basis anf those parents who you just saw dedicating their child last Sunday (which you made an oath to hold the parents up in prayer and keep them accountable for the growth of their child). Yes we may have much going on in our lives, but without the fervent prayers and accountability we cannot finish strong.
As James says, we are only human but if we are in prayer we through God are a force to be reckoned with. Keep in mind he didn’t just stop there. He states that being in prayer and accountable we are to spur on each other and not write of those who have fallen or are struggling in the faith.
Who knows, you may just be one of the ones who is in need of being rescued.
CAL
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
"Holding the Bag"
Romans 8:27-30
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our endless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us knows far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
God knew what He was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love Him along the same lines of life for His Son. The Son stands first in line of humanity He restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in Him. After God made that original decision of what His children should look like, He followed it up by calling people by name. After He called them by name, He set them on a solid basis with Himself. And then, after getting them established, He stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what He had begun.”
Have you ever felt like you have gone all out in a situation only to find yourself just holding the bag? Maybe you have helped out a family member get back on their feet only to find out that they had all the intent of just using you as their safety net to get what they wanted. Others may feel that they have fought for a cause with a good intent only to find that the cause was futile.
As I reflect upon the past 5 or 6 years of my life, I was telling my fiancé this morning how much I feel as if I have been holding the bag. As I was explaining this to her I was imagining in my head the bag. Here I am sitting with this brown paper lunch bag where the milk tipped over making a hole in the bottom of the bag wet and allowing all of the contents to fall out. It was like watching a cartoon looking at the camera with that indignant look of ‘what do I do now?’
So I ask you, have you looked at the bag with its emptiness of the contents? Maybe you think that what you are still holding is useless and just garbage at the end of the day. Others, in the same boat, may look at the bag wondering if there is a silver lining there somewhere (at least the milk didn’t fall on me soiling my clothing).
As I am talking about this and thinking about what I was saying I asked the question “How does God see the paper bag?”
Let me explain what my bag looks like and the content that was inside. Over the past five years I had things like a well paying job and business, a marriage I felt was good, four beautiful and amazing children, great friends and a good church. What happened next was beyond my imagination. Maybe you can say the milk of a failing economy was the thing creating the bottom to fall out or a marriage with a spouse who was looking for the exit sign. The truth is I just don’t know what made the bottom fall out. All I know is I lost it all at one time; husband, father and business owner, gone!
After a two year battle with my former wife she decided to take the only thing that meant anything to me, my children. After 4 judges she found one who granted her the wish she was looking for without justification.
As I was talking and reflecting, all I could hear was God telling me to give Him the damaged bag. Why, what can YOU do with it? Only to hear Him say, “Let me show you.” What I saw was the remnants changed from garbage to being folded up cut here and there and transformed into a paper chain of people; MY FAMILY!
In the After’s latest song “Broken Hallelujah” the band explains that sometimes we need to bring God those broken times. It is in those times we find ourselves bringing our broken hallelujahs.
As I reflected on the devastation over the past 5 years I heard God just say, “I am emptying your hands in order for you to lift them and be filled yet again.” Sometimes we may find ourselves weighed down with the groceries of life trying to take on more and more only to realize we were never made to carry so many things endlessly. Sometimes it requires us to empty our hands in order to take on more. Other times God allows our hands to be emptied in order to realize that we have been distracted from HIS plan for us.
So when the bottom falls out, don’t look at holding the bag as worthless or garbage.
Rather look at it as Paul says to Galatia.
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”
Galatians 6:9
Maybe your bag looks like trash, maybe it has a silver lining or maybe it is just merely empty. The reality is don’t grow weary in doing good. Raise your empty hands to God and prepare for the harvest.
CAL
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our endless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us knows far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
God knew what He was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love Him along the same lines of life for His Son. The Son stands first in line of humanity He restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in Him. After God made that original decision of what His children should look like, He followed it up by calling people by name. After He called them by name, He set them on a solid basis with Himself. And then, after getting them established, He stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what He had begun.”
Have you ever felt like you have gone all out in a situation only to find yourself just holding the bag? Maybe you have helped out a family member get back on their feet only to find out that they had all the intent of just using you as their safety net to get what they wanted. Others may feel that they have fought for a cause with a good intent only to find that the cause was futile.
As I reflect upon the past 5 or 6 years of my life, I was telling my fiancé this morning how much I feel as if I have been holding the bag. As I was explaining this to her I was imagining in my head the bag. Here I am sitting with this brown paper lunch bag where the milk tipped over making a hole in the bottom of the bag wet and allowing all of the contents to fall out. It was like watching a cartoon looking at the camera with that indignant look of ‘what do I do now?’
So I ask you, have you looked at the bag with its emptiness of the contents? Maybe you think that what you are still holding is useless and just garbage at the end of the day. Others, in the same boat, may look at the bag wondering if there is a silver lining there somewhere (at least the milk didn’t fall on me soiling my clothing).
As I am talking about this and thinking about what I was saying I asked the question “How does God see the paper bag?”
Let me explain what my bag looks like and the content that was inside. Over the past five years I had things like a well paying job and business, a marriage I felt was good, four beautiful and amazing children, great friends and a good church. What happened next was beyond my imagination. Maybe you can say the milk of a failing economy was the thing creating the bottom to fall out or a marriage with a spouse who was looking for the exit sign. The truth is I just don’t know what made the bottom fall out. All I know is I lost it all at one time; husband, father and business owner, gone!
After a two year battle with my former wife she decided to take the only thing that meant anything to me, my children. After 4 judges she found one who granted her the wish she was looking for without justification.
As I was talking and reflecting, all I could hear was God telling me to give Him the damaged bag. Why, what can YOU do with it? Only to hear Him say, “Let me show you.” What I saw was the remnants changed from garbage to being folded up cut here and there and transformed into a paper chain of people; MY FAMILY!
In the After’s latest song “Broken Hallelujah” the band explains that sometimes we need to bring God those broken times. It is in those times we find ourselves bringing our broken hallelujahs.
As I reflected on the devastation over the past 5 years I heard God just say, “I am emptying your hands in order for you to lift them and be filled yet again.” Sometimes we may find ourselves weighed down with the groceries of life trying to take on more and more only to realize we were never made to carry so many things endlessly. Sometimes it requires us to empty our hands in order to take on more. Other times God allows our hands to be emptied in order to realize that we have been distracted from HIS plan for us.
So when the bottom falls out, don’t look at holding the bag as worthless or garbage.
Rather look at it as Paul says to Galatia.
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”
Galatians 6:9
Maybe your bag looks like trash, maybe it has a silver lining or maybe it is just merely empty. The reality is don’t grow weary in doing good. Raise your empty hands to God and prepare for the harvest.
CAL
Labor of Love
Micah 4:11-12 “But for now, they’re ganged up against you, many godless people, saying, ‘Kick her when she is down! Violate her! We want to see Zion grovel in the dirt.’ These blasphemers have no idea what God is thinking and doing in this. They don’t know that this is the making of God’s people, that thy are wheat being threshed, gold being refined.”
Life can be so cruel and unjust. As I sit here to write, I open my computer to the picture of my smiling children. Just a day ago one of the worst tragedies involving my children happened to me.
Over the past almost five years my former wife accused me of such wickedness dragging me through court. As a result she asked a forth judge to remove all parental rights from me where I would never again see them or talk to them until they became adults. The worst was when I heard a judge grant her wish and further it with his mocking of my relationship with them.
Five years. It is my labor of love. It brings me to tears as both of my dreams were stolen from me. It was first my marriage and now my kids. The two things God gave and the two things the enemy stole from me.
As I sit looking at the pictures of my kids and listing to music, I ask God let them see You in me. When they see me may they see You.
Yet through this tragedy I ask the same thing in each day until that day of restoration happens. Two weeks ago, at church, a guest pastor came and spoke about us being an impact on the children around us. Maybe it is the children under our roof. Maybe it is the children who may not be ours, a step child, a neighbor kid, a niece or nephew.
So as I wait I remain resolved until that day of restoration. I stand taking the opportunity to bless my nephews, my nieces, their kids and yes even my soon to be step children. As I open up in love, but with caution I realize something. I find God’s love pouring over a broken man who has felt defeated as a father through these children. It is their words of encouragement, desire to stand by my side and just say “hey I love you” with their hug.
The most encouraging word that was given to was from my fiancée’s daughter. She said, “Everyone wants a little happiness, no one wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain” capped off with an I love you.”
What happens though when we feel we have been kicked when we are down? Do we give up on God or do we trust His better plan when nothing makes sense and the false accusations go flying? Are we willing to allow God refine us when we are in the waiting room of reconciliation?
Just before I went to court to get the wind knocked out of me I heard a song I had only heard once before which has been my prayer for the year. In JJ Weeks song “Let Them See You” they sing a prayer of how we need to see our situations, how we see our kids and how we see our marriages.
The chorus says:
“Let them see You in me.
Let them hear You when I speak
Let them feel you when I sing
Let them see You in me”
We need to have the prayer that God will still be glorified in our lives at all times regardless the situation. Are we willing to stand when the walls around us are falling? Are we willing to see God be glorified? Are we willing to let our children, grandchildren, spouse, neighbors, friends and co-workers see Christ in us? You may be the only Jesus they may see.
Will I be reconciled with my four children? I know that it will happen, but I don’t know how. The reality is they are God’s children. Just as God gave me four of my own children He also gave me four children that are not my birth children. All I say is God, let them see You in me.
Court, Kay, Nos and Jay, you are a gift from God. You are my drive and my love. And to the other four children so close in my life, you too are God’s gift and blessing in my life.
CAL
Life can be so cruel and unjust. As I sit here to write, I open my computer to the picture of my smiling children. Just a day ago one of the worst tragedies involving my children happened to me.
Over the past almost five years my former wife accused me of such wickedness dragging me through court. As a result she asked a forth judge to remove all parental rights from me where I would never again see them or talk to them until they became adults. The worst was when I heard a judge grant her wish and further it with his mocking of my relationship with them.
Five years. It is my labor of love. It brings me to tears as both of my dreams were stolen from me. It was first my marriage and now my kids. The two things God gave and the two things the enemy stole from me.
As I sit looking at the pictures of my kids and listing to music, I ask God let them see You in me. When they see me may they see You.
Yet through this tragedy I ask the same thing in each day until that day of restoration happens. Two weeks ago, at church, a guest pastor came and spoke about us being an impact on the children around us. Maybe it is the children under our roof. Maybe it is the children who may not be ours, a step child, a neighbor kid, a niece or nephew.
So as I wait I remain resolved until that day of restoration. I stand taking the opportunity to bless my nephews, my nieces, their kids and yes even my soon to be step children. As I open up in love, but with caution I realize something. I find God’s love pouring over a broken man who has felt defeated as a father through these children. It is their words of encouragement, desire to stand by my side and just say “hey I love you” with their hug.
The most encouraging word that was given to was from my fiancée’s daughter. She said, “Everyone wants a little happiness, no one wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain” capped off with an I love you.”
What happens though when we feel we have been kicked when we are down? Do we give up on God or do we trust His better plan when nothing makes sense and the false accusations go flying? Are we willing to allow God refine us when we are in the waiting room of reconciliation?
Just before I went to court to get the wind knocked out of me I heard a song I had only heard once before which has been my prayer for the year. In JJ Weeks song “Let Them See You” they sing a prayer of how we need to see our situations, how we see our kids and how we see our marriages.
The chorus says:
“Let them see You in me.
Let them hear You when I speak
Let them feel you when I sing
Let them see You in me”
We need to have the prayer that God will still be glorified in our lives at all times regardless the situation. Are we willing to stand when the walls around us are falling? Are we willing to see God be glorified? Are we willing to let our children, grandchildren, spouse, neighbors, friends and co-workers see Christ in us? You may be the only Jesus they may see.
Will I be reconciled with my four children? I know that it will happen, but I don’t know how. The reality is they are God’s children. Just as God gave me four of my own children He also gave me four children that are not my birth children. All I say is God, let them see You in me.
Court, Kay, Nos and Jay, you are a gift from God. You are my drive and my love. And to the other four children so close in my life, you too are God’s gift and blessing in my life.
CAL
Friday, January 3, 2014
It's All in the Name
Philippians 2:9-11
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
There is so much in a name. It doesn’t matter if the name is Ford, Wendy’s, Blue Cross, Met Life or Budweiser, you can literally go anywhere in the world and most anyone would know what you are talking about.
1948 was a big year for Mac and Dick McDonald. The brothers took a very daring move literally moving their father’s successful little carhop off of the historical Route 66 into San Bernardino , California
The brothers started their little restaurant as a famous BBQ restaurant before the likes of Sonny’s or any of the other BBQ restaurants. Just one year into their new venture they found themselves on the brink of going out of business requiring them to look at their menu and how they ran their business. What they found out was they could sell more hamburgers and cheeseburgers make them in less time them they could make good BBQ. So they shut their doors and retooled their image.
Today Mc Donald’s is one of the largest franchises in the world grossing in more than $8.5 billion with more than 34,000 locations a year. What was just the last name of two brothers is one of the most profitable companies.
Over the past several days this thing about a name has been on my mind. I believe there is much in a name. As such I will share more in another up coming post.
Just a few days ago my fiancé shared a post from Facebook with me she found a little peculiar. She asked what it meant. As I looked I saw “…G-d….” The first thing I asked was “Is this person Jewish?” She kind of laughed with a “Yes” in reply.
Imagine for one moment if you were the founder of a large business or the CEO like Mc Donald’s. Everyone that knows who you are melts at your presence and holds you with great regards. Maybe better yet you are a successful sports player widely recognized or even the president where everyone hangs from your every word and action. Like it or not, being in a position of honor, stardom or power holds a sense of awe. Thus the reason we have the word “awesome;” a sense of being breath taking, reverence or approach in fear.
But imagine for a moment that there was someone who just by His very name would make you at the least get goose bumps or pass out. When the Children of Israel were called under Abram, God revealed Himself in a way that no king, dignitary, athlete or founder of a company could ever do. The Jews, even to date, recognize that God’s is so great that even speaking His name could surely cost you your life.
It is that name that even the demons know and flee. It is the name that brings healing and sets the captives free. It is that name that puts one in power and another removed in disgrace. It is that name that is exalted above all others. It is the only name that is used when someone swears. It is the name that even brings me to tears. It that name I gave the initials to my youngest son that when he becomes an adult he will never forget his origins. It is that name you will be asked “What did you do with my Son?”
Yes, His name is Jesus!
If you realized how important His name is, how would you use it? Would it move you to tears or fear? Would you be able to shout His name in a way you are not ashamed proclaiming what He has done for you?
There is so much to a name and that name is waiting on YOU! Call on Him and he will show you things that will blow your mind (Jeremiah 33:3).
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